Every now and then I’ve been known to dole out some helpful dating hints. While I don’t claim to be any sort of dating expert, I have (unfortunately) had my fair share of dates (and just dates). Some of this advice seems like it should be common sense, but apparently if that were so, I wouldn’t have to comment on it. This can only lead me to believe that the crop of single guys these days are either completely clueless or just terribly hopeful/hopeless.
Let’s delve right into things. I want to start off with the following example statement: “I remember when we dated a few years ago and that you were a really good kisser and I’d like to revisit those good memories.” There are so many things wrong with that statement. Let’s see if we can name all of them:
- You apparently dated so long ago that you had to remind the person of the fact.
- One reason you are not still with this person is because the relationship broke apart. Face the facts that it ended.
- On a related note, if you two haven’t communicated or stayed in touch for a significant amount of time (at least a month) then do not attempt to contact that person further. (There are a few exceptions for this, but they are so rare, that they aren’t even worth pointing out.)
- The only thing you are complimenting is a physical trait (i.e: being a good kisser). While it could seem that any type of flattery is good, this is just pathetic. If you were really interested in someone, then hopefully there would be a real reason you’d want to get back together, and not for the sole reason of a “good kisser.”
Those are the biggest faults there. Here’s another scenario: Say you’re flirting with someone that you’d like to hang out/hook up with. It’s probably not wise to inform the other party that you have an “on/off significant other” (really, that can only mean that it’s for all intensive purposes, “on”). Another poor choice would be to say that this somewhat significant other is “very attractive and great.” Honestly, if you want to get with this other person so much, then why on earth would you confess to still liking your pseudo-significant other? Riddle me that.
I don’t know what prompts such persons to make such unwise decisions. It definitely seems like it could be chalked up to over-confidence (see, cockiness) and desperateness, neither of which trait is something your typical lady looking for a relationship would be interested in dealing with. I think what this all boils down to are a few things to remember: think before you speak and be more considerate of the other person and their feelings.