Well, I think I have finally discovered the real downside to online dating versus meeting someone in person initially. I can’t believe that it has taken me years to figure this out, but at least I can now say that I know the secret behind online dating. Pay attention closely, my friends.
Through my experience, online dating seems to attract the type of person who is on a “need to know” basis about physical looks. Physical looks are everything with online dating, which is ironic, since virtual reality isn’t real and can not completely portray the reality as it is. But that’s just it. Because we can never fully get a good look at the other through the internet, physically looks conquer all thoughts. We need to know what every crevice and nook looks like on the other person, because we need to get as far beyond the virtual barrier as we can to make the concept of internet dating seem “real.”
However, when meeting a person live, I feel like it’s easier to get beyond looks; to better get to know the person. This is because we already have all of our information presented to us about physical looks. There is no need to guess anything about that person’s physical attributes, because it’s all laid out in front of us. And because of the advantages of seeing a person live, our minds are more able to create the idea of what kind of person they are, beyond their looks.
We have always known that meeting others in person is probably the ideal situation and (was at least at one time) the “norm.” This is because by meeting someone face-to-face, one can get the best view of that person’s personality by almost bypassing the obvious physical characteristics. Because of the way this all works, I have found that more people who are a part of the online dating pool, are more superficial about looks and thus, are more straight-forward about physical attraction. Getting physical through the internet is easier to achieve for a few reasons, but one of them is because the internet has trained us to become completely engrossed in how people look and that we are not to trust who people really are behind their “internet” mask.
While all of this is unfortunate, that physical looks are weighed so heavily on the internet, at least it’s informative to know. This is probably the sole reason why I have never completely bought into the idea that online dating can truly create a healthy relationship. Since online, people tend to be so focused on looks, it causes a major obstacle in getting beyond that simple-mindedness. Sure, some people are able to make it work, which I applaud, but the obstacle is still present for the rest of us.