Deon Cole Goes Balls Deep

If you ever want to truly test your bladder, have a few drinks and then sit down to a comedy show. If you ever want to test your threshhold for feeling uncomfortable, do this while out with your significant other and a family member and just wait until the comedian asks you something personal about your sex life. I can now attest to both of these things.

Last night I went to see Deon Cole [whom I last blogged about a few months ago and then (coincidentally?) got his own TV show soon thereafter] at the DC Improv and truly learned the ways of holding in your bladder from laughing so hard you pee yourself. It’s seriously not fair that the venue has a two item minimum and I had just eaten dinner/the cheapest menu items are drinks! (Maybe next time the venue should have a few minutes break between comedians.)

The night’s entertainment was non-stop hilarity including the opening acts. But the best part of the evening came when Deon Cole told a joke about a man in a porno (Wesley Pipes) who tells all his prospects he’s going to go “balls deep” on them. Cole then proceeds to question numerous females in couples in the audience if their man is going “balls deep” on them.

Cole set his sights on my boyfriend and (like the other couples he’s interacting with) first asked how long we’ve been together. Cole then puts me on the spotlight and asked me if my man has been achieving the grand “balls deep” status? Shocked and awe-struck that this celebrity was speaking to me, I found myself unable to answer his query, both because I was laughing uncontrollably (and while trying to hold my bladder together) and because I was reasonably shy due to the other members I had come with. After a few unsuccessful tries of Cole trying to pry such sensitive information from my lips, I gave in with a reluctant response. It was only after I had offered up any information that my boyfriend came to any rescue. He explained to not only Cole, but the entire audience that the reason for my unwillingness to answer Cole’s query and because my situation was especially uncomfortable, was because I had been sitting next to my brother.

Upon learning this tragic twist, Cole errupted in uncontrollable laughter onstage and apologized, because, how was he to know my situation?

He ended by remarking that while this has been his first time ever performing at the DC Improv, it had indeed turned out to be quite the memorable evening! You and me both, Deon Cole. Not only did you penetrate my comfort zone, but you sure as heck went further. You went balls deep my friend, and I had a dang good time.

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